Into The Wilderness

Would you rather listen than read? Listen here.

The Belizean Jungle

It was a warm, sticky afternoon. My face felt damp as sweat dripped down the side of my face from underneath my helmet. My legs burned as I pedaled the bike, trying to keep up with the others as we rode the muddy path through the Belizean jungle. The tires spun as I sank into the mud. Getting loose, I looked up and could not see the rest of the group.

Panic set in. The sounds of the jungle encapsulated me and I wanted desperately to see my sister, who was riding right in front of me. My mind went first to the thought of jaguars and snakes, and how I knew they would attack at any moment. I pedaled faster and faster, my stomach churned and my heart raced, and then I saw them, the rest of the tour group.

Ok, so I was not that deep into the jungle and it was probably only around thirty seconds that I was separated, but it felt like eternity. I love to be outdoors and to feel athletic, but I am not a daredevil. I love to hike, but not in a place I feel like I might fall or slip. I find riding in a boat is so much fun, but whitewater rafting, no thanks. Enjoying the scenery is more my thing.

On a cruise I took with my mom and sisters, my youngest sister and I did a biking trip into the jungle in Belize. We had a blast, but the moment I felt separated, I could not believe how fast the fear set in.

Into The Wilderness

Hagar must have felt that same impending doom as she and Ishmael were sent away from Abraham and his family off into the wilderness. In Genesis 21, we read Isaac is weened and true to the custom, Abraham throws a celebration. During this time, Ishmael makes fun of Isaac. This word for ‘makes fun’ can mean several things, but most translators translate the word as mocking. Because of the mocking, Sarah becomes irate, telling Abraham to send the boy and his slave mother, Hagar, away.

Distraught over this demand, Abraham hears from God. He says listen to Sarah and send them away. Have you ever felt like God said this about you? That God would say just send her away? I know there have been several times in my life I have felt God not only abandoned me, but had sent me away. I have battled bouts of depression in my life and in many of those moments; I have wondered where God was and how I could feel so separated from Him.

But God

We read about Hagar in the wilderness twice. Once she ran away from Sarah and the second time, she was sent away. In both occurrences, the Angel of the Lord shows up (learn more about the Angel of the Lord here). When God says to Abraham to send her away, He is not abandoning her. He is getting her alone and meeting her where she needs it most.

The Angel of the Lord speaks to Hagar from Heaven and reiterates the promise He had made to her regarding Ishmael. He reminds her Ishmael will be the father of his own nation. God did not forget him, and he cannot die and fulfill the plan God has for him.

I believe God does this with us, too. He separates us to get our attention. He gets us to a place where we reach out to Him and then He can share things with us we may have missed if we were not to the point of seeking Him.

God Provides

Just like I quickly shot up a prayer when I felt lost in the jungle, I said many desperate prayers when facing depression. And every time, not always in the timing I felt was necessary, but in His perfect timing, He showed up. He showed up in ways I could never have imagined.

Hagar was thirsty and after the Angel of the Lord spoke to her, her eyes were opened and she saw a well of water and was able to drink. God showed up, spoke to her and provided for her and Ishmael’s needs.

He Is Still With You

When I have battled depression, God has spoken to me through prayer, His Word, and through the encouragement of others. He did not just leave me to feel alone and afraid, but He equipped me with what I needed to overcome.

If you are feeling pushed away or separated from God right now, I want to assure you He is still with you. He is waiting to open your eyes to show you new things. Seek Him even if you don’t feel like it. Pray to Him even when it’s hard. Just keep coming before Him and I know He will reveal Himself to you in ways you cannot even fathom.

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