Raining Tears

Would you rather listen than read? Listen here.

An Interlude

My group is well on their way through Revelation, and we are learning so much. In the book, God provides interludes between the judgements for moments to rescue and redeem. I want to follow His example and provide you with an interlude from all the terminology and share with you something amazing God has done this week.

If you have read my blog for quite some time, you have most likely read about my battles with Lyme Disease, Babesia, Bartonella, and Long Covid. I have also shared about the healing I experienced from Babesia. That was exciting, but the nagging of these others have been wearing on me.

Feeling Distracted

Sunday evening, I went to church, at a new church we have attended and my son now works for. I just was not feeling it. I felt distracted. Several decisions we need to make and not feeling well, had me everywhere else but there.

The pastor had briefly spoken because he felt we should spend more time in worship. He sat down and I tried to pray. The worship team this week comprised my son, daughter-in-law, and Brett Miller of Jesus Culture.

When I looked up from praying, I see my son walking off the stage, in the middle of the song, followed by his wife, who was followed by some of the prayer team, who was followed by the pastor and they were headed my way. They stopped at my row and my son said he had to pray for me.

Raining Tears

I sat in a chair as eight plus people hovered over me, praying. Everyone of them was weeping. Their tears fell and as I sat there, and it felt like rain. It felt like cleansing rain falling over me. I kept thinking, “Is this it, God? Is tonight the night I have longed for? Will I really experience complete healing?” There was something different about their prayers. I kept waiting for the heat to rush through my body like it did when He healed me from Babesia. But there was none of that. The only feelings were an overwhelming sense of love and peace.

This feeling of cleansing tears reminds me of the woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. She poured out her everything for Jesus. She gave all she had and, while doing so, anointed Him before His death and burial. The tears of those praying for me gave me a picture of their hearts. I have received many prayers for healing, but this time, the prayers felt authentic and genuine. It felt they wanted the healing as much as I wanted it.

Then God…

The next day I sat in my chair working when I got this strange sensation in my right leg, or as I call it, ‘the gimpy one.’ Just inside my knee was the sharp tingling sensation. My first reaction was to get frustrated. I thought, “Really, another issue?” But then, another thought crossed my mind, “This is the feeling of nerve restoration.”

I thought little about it until it persisted for three days. I googled, ‘what does nerve restoration feel like?’ Google responded as if it knew what I felt. Other issues are still present, but I have walked without a limp or ‘gimpy’ since Monday!

Pleading With God

I want to be completely open and honest here because I know some of you reading this are in similar situations. There are many days I have wondered why Jesus, who healed everyone in the gospels, has not healed me. Many tears have rolled down my cheeks over not getting to do all the things I love to do. I sit in church and watch others getting healed and wonder why God would not want to heal me. I have pleaded with God, questioned my faith, and gone through every high and low you can imagine.

Then He shows me beautiful woman like Joni Eareckson-Tada and Katherine Wolf. They are amazing women who serve God in a state of physical brokenness and they would not have the stories they have without the tragedies in their lives.

Can God Heal?

Do I believe God can heal? Without a doubt. Do I wonder why I am still not completely healed? Absolutely. But one thing I read from Bill Johnson was to keep thanking God for every step forward. It’s hard to remember how far you have come when it feels like you’re trudging through mud. But I thank God I am walking on my own and now without a limp. I am grateful for everyday I am vertical. I would be lying if I did not say I wish it would all go away, but somewhere inside, I know God is using every ounce of this story for His glory.

I want to encourage all of you. If you’re in the high or the low, God is with you. Remember to rejoice when life feels great and when it doesn’t, because there are many treasures you will find in the hard places of life.

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”

2 Corinthians 4:7 NIV